Not Now...

And yet again, I’m the stupid one who gets hurt. It always happens this way. This week has been one of the worst I’ve had in a long time. I thought I could trust you, but I was wrong. I thought I loved you, but sadly, I do. I didn’t think you were the kind of person who would do this to me, but I judged you wrong. I should have listened to everyone telling me that this was going to eventually happen. I just wish I could take back the last four months and start over. There are so many things I would change and make better. i’m sorry.

“welll i been trippin fer 10 hourss on 3 hits of liquidd Micradott, Im onn Acidd!! :D” “Im on tht Extasy, Rollin. :D” “Oxy Cotton, Xanex Bars, Percocet nd Loritab. Valiums, Morphine, Patches, Extasy, Maynee its all up fer grabbs! :D” “Im gonna smoke weed fer tha rest of meh life.” every drug ive ever donee, -Vicoden -Xanex -Percocet -Prozaac -Loritab -Saboxin -W33d -Shrooms -Acid -Rollz -Salvia

happppy hallowwweeeenn!!!

comee by muhh housee ta see muhh slutty ass dressed as a copp(:

whooop! whooop! better be good er ill arrestt yu!! :D

todayy was betterr… minuss meh 3 hourr. haha mehh birthdayss in 2 dayss so im pretty fukkin stokeddd. im havinn a halloween/birthdayy/juss because partyy on saturdayy. superr excitedd(: i gett ungrounded tommorro whichh makess everythingg 10 timess better(: me nd sarahh are closse as ever too(:

• What if I wanted to break
  Laugh it all off in your face
  What would you do?
• What if I fell to the floor
  Couldn’t take all this anymore
  What would you do?
• What if I wanted to fight
  Beg for the rest of my life
  What would you do?
• Look in my eyes
  You’re killing me, killing me
  All I wanted was you
• I tried to be someone else
  But nothing seemed to change
  I know now, this is who I reallly am inside.

                                             -The Kill, 30 Seconds to Mars

• didnt wanna see me today, yu coulda said so.
• didnt wanna talk ta me, yu coulda told me.
• didnt wanna come over yesterday, yu didnt have ta.
• are mad at meh, yu can tell me.
• do believe Brandon over meh, then thats fine.

im sorry fer all tha things i do tht make yu mad.

im sorry okayy? why cantt yu understandd tht?

it was a mistake ohkayy?!

im fukking sorry. ): </33

Remember this? its all jus a memoryy now.

1.drink it down, live it up.
2. party till you cant anymore.
3. catnip is pretty damn good.
4. vodka and orange pop isnt all that good.
5. bahama mama wine coolers are yummy :)
6. if you light a lighter for too long it burns your hand.
7. dont hold lit firecrackers.
8. throwing your cell phone will most likely result in a broken phone.
9. ALWAYS eat before you drink.
10. misquittos are bad.
11. when you light spiders on fire they fall off their web.
12. unless you wanna burn your hand, dont light ciggarette boxes on fire.
13. bongs break when you drop them.
14. its realllyyy fun to party with your older sister.
15. listen to Bob Marley.
16. get an insence burner.
17. get weed flavored insence.
18. dont go to sleep with your shoes on.
19. mai ties are yummy as ever.
20. dont talk to your mom stoned.
21. the song Drops of Jupiter is amazing.
22. make a smoothie.
23. dont lay in a field at 10 at night. there will be misquitos.
24. sleep in till noon.
25. dont make dumb-ass comments to your best friend.
26. let the wind sweep you off your feet.
27. feel floaty when you smoke.
28. write a book.
29. you best friend will always stick up for you..even if your wrong.
30. post a bulliten.
31. beat ass.
32. listen to other peoples problems. you might help.
33. dye your hair a different color.
34. wear bright colored makeup.
35. dont get spider bites.
36. lip peircings hurt.
37. dont try to tattoo yourself.
38. find yourself.
39. listen to music.
40. dont post bullitens bout people. thats just fukked up.
41. eat fruit.
42. go shopping.
43. dont judge people for who they hang out with or what they do.
44. give that sport another shot.
45. buy energy shots and get hyper.
46. go on vacation.
47. ride a rollercoaster.
48. try something new.
49. go tanning.
50. add more as the summer goes on…..

51. adding more.
52. im on a boat.
53. TUNA!
54. get insane in the brian!
55. eat cheeseburgers!
56. make up with old friends.
57. buy weed.
58. dont get caught.
59. hook up.
60. putting comments about other peoples friends is mean.
61. call friends at 12:46 AM and hope they answer.
62. ask random ppl to open your soda.
63. walk somewhere.
64. hang out with old friends.
65. go swimming in Cedar Lake.
66. try not to fall down the stairs.
67. penguin?
68. go to a movie.
69. try not to get pregnant! i know its number 69.
70. dont die.
71. help someone deal with their problems.
72. get married to your best friend.
73. fill up my cup!
74. body shots!
75. always take Advil before going to sleep after drinkingg!
76. put the cigarettes away and smoke a joint!
77. summer relationships are pointless.
78. be chill.
79. no matter how much you hate someone always be nice.
80. go to the moon!
81. vote weed to be legal!
82. try to help ppl that cry.
83. dont be a fuck machine
84. if you act like a whore when you drink, dont do it.
85. get a new haircut.
86. dont make fun of ppl.
87. buy a puppy.
88. party.
89. love
90. CrUnK <3
91. try not to be bored.
92. Vegas Skies is amazing.
93. alcohol makes my head spin.
94. fall in love.
95. fall fast and hard.
96. hang out with new ppl.
97. get a new phone.
98. say goodnight to your best friend EVERY night.
99. always say i love you when you get off the phone.
100. prolly adding more tommorro…

101. adding wayy more.
102. Pineapple Express ISSSS weed.
103. dont go out with anyone when your high.
104. stop smoking!
105. S*A*W*I*N*G*G*G*!(:
106. it was all a dream…
107. get up at noon and take a shower.
108. and then go back to sleep on your couch!
109. never try to kick out a window. your foot will get stuck.
110. i love college!
111. watch Gang Related!
112. i just realized it was 10:38PM!
113. clean your room!
114. charge your iPod!
115. go to jewel. yuor friend will be there. bahahahha Kayla!
116. party it up!
117. turn your swagg on!
118. i cant believe i have this manyy!
119. text your Mainyyy
120. play RockBand!
121. always trust your older sister.
122. being high is funn.
123. you can’t take the kid from the fight.
124. take the fight from the kid.
125. always try to look pretty.
126. horror movies are all the same anymore…
127. read a magazine!
128. live your life!
129. lay out and look at the stars with your best friend.
130. fukk haters.
131. beat somee ass already!
132. i hate when ppl act Ghetto.
133. pray for patience.
134. get money!
135. read word up magazines!
136. listen to Salt-n-Peppa and Heavy D
137. try rapping.
138. hang pictures on your wall!
139. pop a cap in yoo ass!
140. crack is whack!
141. dont choke on pickles!
142. try wearing a different color.
143. smoke stuff.
144. write a letter.
145. eat toast.
146. get a new house.
147. buy energy drinks bc you can!
148. dont go to Hawaii…
149. billboards are outlawed there.
150. adding more tommorro?

151. Undress baby girll!!
152. finally find someone new♥
153. tell him you love him before its too late.
154. the one for you is the one who doesnt care what you do…
155. even if its bad…
156. they still say I Don’t Care I Love You.
157. disenchanted…
158. I Love Him(:
159. always tell the one who makes you smile…
160. that they make you smile.
161. Heather has a thirdd boob!
162. right Sarah?
163. Mouthwash!
164. J. Wale is really hot!!
165. i still cant believe how long this list is!
166. Hot Revolver!
167. 07*11*09…
168. a day to remember…
169. I Love You Baby„
170. you can get it all! (:
171. get new ringtones for people.
172. get numbasss!
173. be B*I*G* P*I*M*P*I*N*….
174. Spendin’ G’s…
175. B*I*G* P*I*M*P*I*N*….
176. On BLAD…
177. B*I*G* P*I*M*P*I*N*….
178. Up In NYC.
179. get a new peircing!
180. be InFamous(:
181. do stupid shit…
182. and then say…
183. Damn! that was fun!
184. listen to different music!
185. get big-ass slushies from the gas station!
186. go to Navy Pier!
187. The Alley is the best store in the world!
188. Chicago is BEAUTIFUL at night (:
189. Navy Pier has the best fireworks in the world!
190. Take your time.
191. say goodnight.
192. Fill Up My Cup! :)
193. some memories are..
194. completely pointless…
195. unless you have someone…
196. to share them with.
197. pick it,pack it…
198. fire it up and come along…
199. and take hits from the booonngggg (:
200. more tommorrow (:

“-You make me smile like the sun -Fall out of bed, sing like bird -Dizzy in my head, spin like a record -Crazy on a Sunday night -You make me dance like a fool -Forget how to breathe -Shine like gold, buzz like a bee -Just the thought of you can drive me wild -Ohh, you make me smile.” -Smile, Uncle Cracker “+All My Life +I Prayed For Someone Like You +And I Thank God +That I..That I Finally Found You +All My Life +I Prayed For Someone Like You +And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too +Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too.” -All My Life, K-Ci and JoJo “^I don’t know how you do what you do ^I’m so in love with you ^It just keeps getting better ^I wanna spend the rest of my life ^With you by my side ^Forever and ever ^Every little thing that you do ^Baby, I’m amazed by you.” -Amazed, Lonestar “*Cause it’s you and me and all of the people *With nothing to do *Nothing to lose *And it’s you and me and all of the people *And I don’t know why *I can’t keep my eyes off of you.” -You and Me, Lifehose

i was sooo fukking wrong aboutt yu.

im sooo fukking tiredd of beingg fukking lied to,

i guess tht once again, im wrongg.

fukk yu,

fukk meh life,

fukk tha world.

im soo fukkin donee.

i can face tha world. i can get back ta reality. i can finally realize that i actually AM loved. yur tha reason i ahvent killed myself yet. yur tha reason im happy even when im sad. yur tha reasonn im still herre…….lovee yu Boo.